Rollercoaster weekend....

It's been 2 weeks since my disastrous first attempt to swim in the ocean. In between then, the team has done an open water lake swim and everyone's full distance for their race in the pool. After the swim in Ocean park, i developed an ear infection which led to 10 days (doctor ordered) no swim training. I was bummed but also glad I had it checked out early enough to be able to participate in the mini-tri at Zuma.

The Mini Triathlon
I was totally nervous driving out to Zuma Beach the morning of August 22. Eating my PB&J sandwich on my way there, my stomach started to feel funny. I know it's nerves so I deal with it. I get to the beach and set up my transition area. I'm nervous but distract myself by joking around with my teammates. We make our way out to the ocean and the fear begins to resurface. Coach Mike goes over the drill of how to get through the waves and such. I'm standing there scared but hoping I'll get through it and actually swim. I know it's going to be tough but I think I can do it this time. Coach sends every one out in groups and my group is the last since we are doing the sprint distance and there are only a handful of us. We go out, I notice Coach Mike staying at my side the entire way. I get through the waves and begin to freak out AGAIN! It's the same scenario as my first ocean swim and am having the panic attack AGAiN. I'm breathing heavy and Coach Mike is by my side the entire time. He tries to calm me down but my fears are getting the best of me. I trusted in my wetsuit and knew I wasn't going to drown but I couldn't get a handle on my breathing. I kept saying "I'm so tired" and Mike asked, why? We haven't done anything yet. Which was completely true I hadn't gone anywhere but past the break. Coach Mike, being the amazingly patient coach that he is, takes me through the water slowly. First he says to go the to first buoy. But he then notices that the red one is closer. So he makes me follow him out to the path where everyone is swimming, which I think was in the middle of the 2 buoys . He then says, ok, let's go to the red buoy. I'm still freaking out, breathing crazily. I'm yanking on my collar saying that its too tight and it's choking me. We undo it a little and coach Ludo comes over and helps open it up more. I keep repeating "I can't do this! I can't do this!" They say, "yes you can Jane, look, you have 2 coaches here, you can do this." At this point, I realize I'm monopolizing the coaches. ~Sorry TEAM, i don't mean to take up all of their attention!~ I try to prepare myself to swim to the buoy. I take a deep breath and put my face in the water and start swimming. I take maybe 4-5 strokes and come up. I couldn't stay calm and started dogging paddling. I finally make my way to the red buoy where Ale is hanging out on a surf board. I stay there to catch my breath. Coach Mike wants me to tell him when I'm ready to go back to the beach and he'll take me back. I rest up and tell him I'm ready. We go back and I'm still just as scared as i started. Coach Mike leads me back, literally holding my hand the entire way and asks if I want to try again. At that point, it was 80/20 "no". He said that if I want to try again, just wave and he'll come out to me and walk me through it again. I walk along the beach and stand in front of where the first buoy aligns. I standing there seeming forever thinking if I was going to go back. I had decided, I need to go back in. I'm searching for Coach Mike in the sea of swim caps that are out there. I couldn't tell where he was and didn't see anyone noticing me standing there. Katie, one of my teammates, is walking towards me and is going in for her second loop. I attempted to follow her so that I could at least be with someone but i got cold feet. I walked a little further saw a big wave, and then turned back. I couldn't do it alone. I decided, I'm not going in anymore. So I get on my bike and finish the rest of the workout. 18 miles on PCH and then a 3 mile walk/run on the board walk. The rest of the workout out was fine. I was going slowly, mostly because I was down about the swim. I could've gone faster but i didn't care to, I was mentally defeated and the doubt of completing the tri was ever more real. The finish line was great, being cheered in by my the amazing Eastside team. I left the beach feeling really sad and unsure of my abilities. I call my sister and start balling and pour out all of fears and doubts about the race.

The rest of the day, I was completely in a rut. I was depressed and didn't know where I was going. I had a fundraiser to go to in the evening and went but I was only halfway there, mentally. My SGV friends all asked about how my Tri-training was going and my eyes began to tear up and I said, "don't ask, I'll talk about it when I'm ready". I come home and go to bed early trying to attempt my ocean swim again the next morning.

I wake up Sunday morning, determined if anything, to swim, to make it out there, and to make this the day that I actually make it. I arrive at Ocean Park and met up with Talia, Ron, Ale and some other TNT alumni. Will and Adrianna were waiting on the beach for us. We make our way out and I'm nervous as hell. The life guard brings us over and warns us about the waves. I look at them and think, maybe this isn't a good idea for today. Ale and Ron, walk with me, one on each side. I'm freaking out. More than ever. We go in and we dive through the waves. The second wave, knocks me out and I tumble in it for a while. Ron is right there and grabs me and helps me up. The next wave is a big one and I get through it. As soon as I get up, the panic and the heavy breathing begins again. Ale and Ron try to have me relax and catch my breath. At this point, we're past the break and we're just floating. We float for a while for me to catch my breath. I get on my back to really relax and convince myself that I need to do this today. I'm somewhat relaxed and tell them I'm ready. Then determined as ever, I begin to swim. I take a few strokes and tire out again. Ale and Ron, so great, stayed with me the entire time. They remind me to not kick and to just swim easy. So after I catch my breath again we go. I stay focused. I swim. I breath slowly. I talk to myself in my head. I spot the buoy. I am swimming. I am SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN! I take a few breaks and then start up again. I can hear everyone that is hanging out at the buoy cheering me on. I keep swimming. I keep swimming. I get to where everyone is and am SOOOOOO happy! They tell me to keep going to the buoy, and I say "SHIT" and keep swimming. I slap the buoy and at that point, knew that I had concurred. It was an amazing feeling and couldn't have done it without all those people there and all of the "fear-handling" that Coach Mike walked me through before that. We swim back to the break, well I didn't go all the way back, yes I cheated a little, and then we swam back to the buoy. I took breaks along the way but I definitely had my confidence up. Every time I touched the buoy, I slapped it hard and then yelled out "SHIT" just because I was tired by the time I reached it....hehe We went out and back one more time, I touched the buoy a total of three times. We decided to go back out to the beach which I was VERY scared of. I was afraid to get caught up in a wave coming up behind me. Ron and Ale, always on my side the entire way, took me the entire way through. I kept swimming, looking for the wave to come. I began to see the bottom and tried to stand up a few times. The water was still neck level and Ron kept telling me to keep going. Afraid every time he said that I just kept swimming afraid that a wave was going to come. Finally I was about waist deep and CRAMP! My left calf cramps up and I'm freaking out that a wave is going to build up and crash on me while I can barely move. Ale and Ron run to me and help me stretch it out. Ale says, "we didn't catch any of the waves coming in but you get a cramp!" And then I thought, oh, are we already away from the waves? .....hahaha Knowing that I was in the safe zone, I stand there trying to stretch it out and get it relaxed. Mentor Will then comes to the rescue and picks me up (I bet he didn't think I was as heavy as I actually am) but he picks me up and carries me to the beach. Have I mentioned how GREAT the EASTSIDE staff is??? AWESOME!!! So that was it, Ale and Ron, thank you for staying by my side the ENTIRE way. Adrianna and Talia, thanks for cheering me on at every step. Will, thanks for taunting me about doing longer swims and for carrying me to the beach! Sorry about the middle fingers, I take those back =) Coach Mike, thanks for holding my hand during my major freak outs during the first 2 attempts. And thanks to my family, my friends and all of my teammates for believing in me when I really didn't believe in myself. I'm not saying that the next time I go out I won't be scared again, that I won't have a hard time again, that I won't freak out again. But having gone through the swim today, gave me the confidence that I needed to know it can be done. I needed that. I needed today to be a success, just for my mental health. I needed today more than anything and today was definitely a good day.

Fears, Tears and disappointment

I just got back from my first open water swim. Nervous but not doubting that it would happen I prepare myself as Coach Mike gives us the run down. Lucky for us, the waves were pretty rough and high that morning....ugh! I "guess" it was good to learn the hard way first *rolling my eyes* I was lucky enough to be able to borrow a wetsuit from one of the Captains, Bernie. It was a sleeveless one because I plan on exchanging mine for one just like it. In any case, the first thing we try is getting in the water, jumping over the waves and duck diving under the waves. So we go, I get in nervous but going. I'm able to jump over the small waves and maintain. Then I start getting deeper in and the waves are beginning to get larger. The first duck dive I did wasn't too bad. I dove under the wave and came right up. The next wave freaked me out. I tried to dive but I either didn't go under early enough or not deep enough. I got caught up in it and rolled around a little. I got nervous but finally came up for air. It was tiring. Constantly having to dive and come up for air. The wetsuits do help....I think. So we all go back out onto the beach and take a breather. Coach Mike now tells us that we're going to swim out to the buoy which is about 250 meters out and then wait there for everyone to get there. I look out and the waves just seem to be getting bigger at this point and the FEAR is definitely starting to sink in. The staff asks if anyone is nervous then they can partner up with a mentor, I immediately raised my hand even before he could finish the sentence.

Already being nervous from getting rolled around the first time, I told myself, I can do this, just get passed all the waves. So we line up so they can count us and make sure they know how many went out and how many are supposed to come back....hahah So we're off. I go forward, not doubting that I'm going to make it. I jump though the waves. I dive through the waves. Then it hits me, a double wave. I dive through one wave and as I just come up for air, another wave hits me, unexpected and I'm rolling in it. Freaking out I come up and continue. I try to keep moving forward, not even knowing if I'm going in the right direction, I just want to get passed the break. I dive under a wave and then again, a second quick wave knocks me out. I start swimming because I can no longer touch the floor. I've lost all technique and am just swimming with my head completely above the water. I'm so exhausted at this point that I roll over onto my back to take a break. I hear Coach Mike say, Jane let's go, swim. and I try to and I'm just out of gas. I have no energy and my breathing is very rapid. Once I knew he was right there, I started to freak out and repeated, I can't do this, I can't. I'm panicking I can't I can't. He tries to calm me down and then eventually realizes that I won't be able to swim out to the buoy. So he says, we're going to turn back. So he guides me back and he watches as the waves come up behind us, telling me to duck when I need to. I made it under the waves a few times but most of the time, I freaked out and ate it. Mike continues to lead me back and then says, look it's ok, I'm touching the ground, then I say, but I can't! He then tells me to grab his feet, so he turns around and I first grab his shoulders and then I repeat, Grab your legs?? He said "yes" so I move my hands down his legs and he swims with me in tow. Amazing coaches I tell you! So finally he hands me off to Bernie, to help me get back to the beach. I let out a very inappropriate belch before he leaves and bernie takes me back.

I'm completely exhausted. I feel completely defeated and disappointed. The entire time I was making my way back with Mike, all I could think about is how there's no way I can do this. What the heck was I thinking. I'm going to have to tell everyone that I just can't do it. We walk back to the beach where I met a few others that didn't make it out either. We wait for everyone else that is out near the buoy to swim back. The whole time I just wanted to break out in tears but I didn't want to do it in front of everyone else and I didn't want to take away from the excitement of those that did make it out.

After doing a drill about how to get out of the wetsuit, we all changed and met in the parking lot. I went up to Coach Mike and hugged him and thanked him. Then I just broke down. I started crying and everyone was trying to make me feel better. Ale was telling me how she didn't make it out the first time she went in the ocean too. Ludo joked around and said that I didn't make it out because he wasn't with me. Josie was hugging me trying to console me.

The tears weren't out of fear, they were from disappointment. It's from not knowing if I'm really going to be able to do this. Various mentors are going to be holding more open water swims and I'm going to go to every single one of them. I'm hoping I'll be able to get over this fear soon. The race isn't too far away and it really will be a miracle if and when i finish this triathlon. I need prayers =)

6 weeks and 4 days left.....

I know I haven't blogged in a while but here I am. This is going to be a long one so I won't be offended if you don't get through it all in one day or even ever! I will again break it down.

The Swimming
I finally renewed my membership to the RBAC so I can feel comfortable swimming on my own. For the longest time I was trying to convince myself to go the 24 fitness gym because I already have a membership there. It took weeks for me to finally go and when i went, it was too crowded. Anyways, we started swimming at a new pool, Yosemite Pool in Eagle Rock. I missed the first practice at the pool because of family stuff. So at the second practice, I walked over and the first thing I noticed was that the lanes are set-up the LONG way, not the short way we were used to swimming in. *minor freak-out* and then, I was talking to some teammates and they had mentioned our warm-up called the "snake". I thought, it's a special drill on how to move your body. But I was wrong =( The snake warm up is swimming up and down ALL lanes till you reach the end of the pool. That's a total of 8 lengths, 4 laps, THE LONG WAY! So practice starts and I let everyone go ahead of me because I'm slow, I start swimming and it sucks. I tire out at every end of the lane. The middle of the lane is 11 ft deep so it's a little freaky when you see the floor dip that low. I was so slow that they didn't even want me to finish all the lanes. I think I had 2 more to go. So they separate us in the distances we're doing for our event. Most people are doing the Olympic with about 3 of us doing the sprint. The sprint has to do 400 meters and the Olympic 800 meters. Boy I was so happy I stuck with the Sprint distance....haha! They want us to keep swimming without any stops because we won't be able to stop in the middle of the ocean on race day! We are allowed to turn over on our backs if we need to rest. They also tell us that they will be pulling some people out to video tape them and their technique. So we're off and we start swimming. I was pretty tired but it was do-able. No doubt I was slow but knowing that I wasn't able to stop I just tried to find a rhythm and keep moving. Of course, my coaches pull me aside to video tape me and boy that was nerve racking. I'm interested to see what i look like =) Anyways, by the end of practice, Coach Ludo tells me to kick more so my feet are closer to the surface of the water. I was swimming with my feet dragging. Once he told me that, I definitely felt a difference and now I am more aware of my feet and try to really keep that horizontal position during my swim. I've been swimming more in the mornings and am concentrating on keeping my feet up, rotating my body more to extend my arm as far as possible and trying to breath on both sides. Still unsuccessful with the last one but there's still time to work on it.


The Bike

The bike is getting better. The seat is less painful and I'm comfortable on flat and going downhill. NOT UPHILL though =( The first time we had our hour long bike ride was very nerve racking for me. Coach Ludo rode with Irene and I. First we went on the River path and then we went onto the street to do a loop around the park. When we first got on the street I was so nervous. I had to get on my bike and cross the street. Cars were waiting and I kept losing my footing to get on the bike. Finally I got on the bike and thankfully the cars were very patient and waited. So I'm riding along side Ludo and he's telling me what I need to know about riding on the street. He said don't care about the cars that are driving, they are more afraid of you. The thing you must be careful about is a parked car opening their door in front of you! He warns me about the hill coming up. He says it's about 3/4 of a mile long and that I just need to go slow. It's a pretty big hill but reiterates that I just need to go slow. So we go up an incline and I ask, is this the start of the hill? and he says "no" it's still further up. Now I'm starting to freak out because I was tired going up that small incline! We finally get to the hill and I"m like, OMG. Go slow .... go slow. Unfortunately, I didn't have to tell my body that for very long because it WAS going slow on it's own. I was breathing heavy, well I was out of breath, and barely moving. I kept wining, I can't I can't, I need to stop, and Ludo told me, "no keep going" and so I try. I eventually have to stop, I couldn't do it. So we stopped, I got a drink, and caught my breath. Ludo patiently waits for me and is nervous about me getting on the bike up hill. I finally get on and it's still hard. Seeing how much trouble I was having, Ludo decides to take it in his own hands, LITERALLY. He keeps one bike on his hand and the other hand on my back and is PHYSICALLY pushing me up hill! I was amazed with his skill and power and felt, soooo bad and also relieved at the same time =) For a split second he let go to change his gears and I felt how much work he was really doing. I kept apologizing and he said "it's ok Jane, let's go. Just keep your bike straight because if you fall we both fall" We finally make it up the hill and I'm glad it's over and am completely thankful for the help from my coach. With the uphill, there's a downhill. I cruise downhill, a little afraid but at the same time enjoying the ride. I brake regularly and am just happy that the tough part is over. The next week we went the opposite direction on the hill and it was a little easier. I didn't have Coach Ludo there to push me up and I did stop and walk a little. Coach Joy made me get back on the bike and keep going. She's tough but in a good way. It's not like boot camp tough, it's like, the person that believes in you more than you believe in yourself kind of tough. With lots of heavy breathing and slow pedaling, I get up and still am cursing the hill. Ale, my mentor, and I cruise downhill and finish our ride on the river trail. The next week we go back up the more steeper side and I make a few stops again. Ludo pushes me AGAIN but not as long as the last time. Hopefully this weekend I can make it up there on my own without stopping. I am not going to get pedals and clips for my race. My coach thinks it's too late to try to start learning them. Which I kinda knew and agree. Last thing I need to do is to try learning something new when I can't even make it up the hill on my own. I'll be fine and at least it will cut back my transition time between the bike and run =)

The Run
From now on we will be doing what they call "brick" workouts. Which is 2 back to back workouts. Typically it is the bike and run. Our first brick workout was an 1 hour bike ride and a 15 minute run. That was the workout for the sprint. So that day, I'm pretty sure I rode for an hour and 15 and then still had to do my run. When we were coming up to the parking lot, Ale was riding with me and she was telling me to spin my legs. I asked "why" and she had mentioned something about moving the lactic acid around. So we get to the parking lot and I drop off my bike and get my water bottle for the run. Immediately, I feel very sluggish. I try to briskly walk but in my head I know that my legs can't move that fast. My watch beeps for me to do a run break and I'm barely moving. Thank God my run is only 15 minutes long! I broke down the time in my head, I like to do math while I'm walking, it wastes time. So I figured that I only have 2 run breaks in my 7.5 minutes out before I turn back. That means I only have 4 run breaks during this part. (intervals are 3 walk 1 run) That makes me happy =) The 15 minutes couldn't have ended any sooner and I was so happy to return to the parking lot where everyone was already back. From now on, all of our workouts will be bricks. It's cutting down to the wire and the weeks are flying by much faster than I would like to!

3 weekends from now, my team and I will be camping out in Lake Castaic. At first I thought it was a fun team bonding weekend until I found out that we're going to be doing our first mock-tri in the lake. *GULP* I had a baby shower to go to that day but when I found out it was a mock tri, there was no way I was going to miss it. I need all the practices I can get! The week after that will be our first Ocean Swim at Malibu....*BIG GULP* And then following that, Coach Joy will be hosting unofficial trainings at Zuma Beach for swimming and biking.

This is it kids, no joke, it's really happening and it's in full gear.....yikes!

I will have Alice organize the cheering crew if you're interested in coming out to my event. It's not like a marathon where you can run or ride your bike with me. It's actually against the rules and I can get disqualified if I have any kind of help, I think. But it sure would be nice to see some familiar faces =)

One funny story, I was at one of my teammates fundraisers and so was Coach Ludo. I bought him a beer to thank him for pushing me up the hill. After a few drinks we had this conversation:

Jane: Ludo, will you push me up the hill during my race too?? (jokingly)
Ludo: **with French accent** No Jane, I will just be sitting waiting on the side and when I see you I'll just say "JANE, MOVE YOUR ASS!" hahah

Sounds better when I tell you it in person because i do the French accent too =)

1st Team bike ride, Rose Bowl attempt #2

Prior to my first team bike ride, I had attempted a loop around the rose bowl and fell. I fell pretty hard and scratched up my arm pretty bad. It still hurts at this moment. Since it's at my elbow the scab keeps breaking every time I painfully bend it. I can't sleep on my left side because of my injury because it hurts too much. But other than some bruises on my legs, all else is working fine.

Saturday morning, I get to Griffith Park and unload my bike. I borrow my mentor, Ale's, floor pump to pump my tires. Luckily Louis showed me how to do this a couple weeks back. Everyone is walking around checking out everyone else bikes. Me, not really caring what other people are riding because they all look the same to me! The bike basic clinic starts. I needed all the info that was given even though most seemed utterly bored. After, Coach Mike wants to do the bike checklist together as at team. So we do it and I notice that my front tire doesn't spin freely. Well good thing we did the checklist! Mike uses my improperly assembled tire as an example of why the checklist is important. Next the group is split into 3 groups, Advanced/Intermediate, Beginner, and Beginner Beginner (never been on a bike). Coach Joy approached me earlier and asked if I was the one who doesn't know how to ride. I told her that I can but I'm extremely nervous. She gave me the choice of going with the beginners or staying with her in the parking lot. The Advanced/Intermediates take off and the beginners do a few laps in the parking lot. Then Mike says we can go out to the bike path. I'm encouraged to go with them because I can obviously move on the bike. So I go nervously. We get to the stop sign at the end of the parking lot and as we come up to it, I lose my footing and jump off of my seat. And of course just as I do that, the pack makes their way across. Brenda, my teammate, was kind enough to wait with me but when she was ready to go, I wasn't. So I let all of the cars pass before I collect myself to make my way across. I make it across and there's a slight incline for the freeway overpass. I pedal stronger trying to make it up and before I know it I'm going downhill. I'm freaking out, squealing and screaming and repeating "oh shit oh shit" in an annoyingly high pitched voiced. Mike was great staying by my side and telling me to brake softly down hill. Telling me that I'm doing fine and that he'll block traffic for me. I continue to be annoying all the way downhill as the rest of the pack waits for me at the bottom. When I get to the bottom I immediately want to get off. So I do. I needed to anyways to get through to the bike path. He points the rest of the pack in the right direction realizing that he will have to support me for a while. So Mike rides with me down the path. I'm super nervous with my bike swaying side to side. Mike continuing to be encouraging and me trying to focused. He recommends a few things here and there and I'm barely listening because I'm just focusing not to fall against the wall, other runners, other bikes or down the river! We turn back early knowing that it would just take me longer to get back if I continue to go farther. Then Mike leaves me on my own, surely because he probably is bored riding so slow with me or because my annoying nerves were enough for him....haha So I continue, and I'm making it. I tired out a little and took a little break. Then I make it to the gate that leads back to the street. Mike comes along with me as I walk my bike on the other side. To make it back, you have to go uphill. I look at it and tell Mike that I'm going to walk it. I wasn't too afraid of going up hill, I was more afraid of going downhill where it leads to an intersection. I was terrified and pictured myself not being able to stop and getting run over by a car. So Mike just told me to do some laps in the parking lot with Joy and just work out my nerves. As he's talking to me, a person waves to him and he tells me that the person in the car was a past participant that didn't know how to ride when she first started too. So I walk my bike uphill. Hector catches up to me and gets off his bike and walks with me. I'm so out of breath, it's ridiculous. We get back to the parking lot and I take a breather. Then I continue to do some laps in the parking lot. Hector's daughter was there with Joy learning how to ride her bike. She's only 16 and she seems fine. Joy rides along side me and tries to teach me the gear shifting. At the end of all this, I'm wiped and super tired. The team meets up for last announcements and then I go home. Thank God I didn't fall again!

Louis sent me a message on fb asking how training is going. I told him I still need more bike practice. He offers to ride with me again so we plan to meet on Monday after work. I get to the Rose Bowl and we do a few loops in the parking lot. He wants to help me figure out the gear shifting. So then we cross the bridge from Lot K to the other side where SGV meets for hill training. We ride all the way across and reach the loop. Nervous as always, it takes me a while to get started, but we start the loop at that point and we return to lot K. I was still nervous but we make it back and Louis gives me more pointers. With some resistance, I agree to do an entire loop. So as we wait for all the cars and other bikes to pass, I keep telling myself, don't fall again! So we go off. Louis stays behind me most of the time and keeps yelling at me "stay to the right, closer to the right, back to the right" By the time we reach mile one, I'm freaking exhausted. I yell at Louis, "I need a break" He yells, "just make the turn keep going!" I say "no" and pull over. I was wiped and was so out of breath. He said it was because I was in the wrong gear and was working too hard. I like to believe that. But I also know that my endurance sucks right now too. I wait to collect my breath as Louis shows off and goes up that mean hill at that corner. So we continue, and the ride was fairly better. It was less nerve racking, still scary but not terrifying. When I pulled up to the spot where I fell last time, I was hoping and praying to not freak out....and I didn't .... whew! I make it back to Lot K in one piece, exhausted and sweaty. While Ironman Louis doesn't even seem like he did any kind of exercise at all. But I left the Rose Bowl, feeling good. Feeling a little more confident. Coach Mike was right, just a few minutes a day could boost my confidence quickly. I'll be getting my bike properly fit on Thursday. I hope that doesn't mess anything up for me.....hahhahaha

BTW, one thing I found out over the weekend was that in the rules for the triathlon, during the bike, everyone must stay 3 bike lengths away from the bike in front of them. You will be disqualified if you ride closer. And if you try to pass a bike in front of you, you have to do it within 12-15 seconds or you'll be disqualified. I was glad to hear this now knowing I won't be riding close to other bikes =P

attempt #2

I will be going out to the Rose Bowl today to do another loop with Louis. Pray that I don't hit any runners or get run over by a car! I'm serious....

Chlorine, bruises, scrapes and deep breaths....

Its been 2 1/2 weeks since my last blog and my training has seen some improvements and some bumps. Let's go in order:

The Swim:
It's getting better! The second swim practice was much easier. I was able to get through all the drills and was able to do the additional drill that was added that week. I still took in some water but I have figured out how to relax. Once I did that, it was much easier. During the last swim practice(#3) we finally got into the stroke. It was pretty hard. I know how to free style on my own but this one is very tricky. I appreciate the style of training where things are taught in progression. One drill building on the other. At the end of that last training, we played a game and I cramped up during it. Maybe because I was trying to swim really fast after an hour long workout? Dunno, but that did bring up the concern of cramping during the race!

The Bike:
For sure, just like I've always said, this is the leg that I'm most worried about. Usually people are really happy about this leg but NOT me! My first "on my own" training was with Manny. He helped me ride around the parking lot showing me how to change gears and where to keep my feet while riding. At the end of the ride, a cone suddenly jumped at me and I crashed. I crashed really really hard and even my brake lever was twisted. Luckily Manny knew how to fix it for me. I had some narly bruises that scared me. The second ride was with Louis who showed me how to brake and get off of the bike calmly. I used to brake and then come to a halting stop almost losing my footing every time. So now I can sort of brake easily. My third ride was with Manny again and I told him I wanted to do a lap around the Rose Bowl. I wanted to do this before my first bike training practice with the team. So after shaking off the nerves and chatting with Audrey, who was there for her training run, we went off. I was so nervous and couldn't keep the bike straight. I was nervous every time I had to pass a person hoping and praying that I wouldn't crash into them. Manny kept telling me to relax my shoulders but I couldn't. Then as we rounded about mile 1.25 we started to go downhill. It got windy and I asked Manny, is it windy or is that us? I was afraid the wind was going to blow me over. So then we get to about mile 2 and Manny is riding in front of me, I am still wavering side to side and I see myself hitting his back tire. I scream, "GO FASTER GO FASTER" and then the next thing I know, I'm flying off my bike into the road. THANK GOD the truck that was coming up beside me wasn't driving fast and didn't run me over. The guys in the truck kindly stopped and asked if I was OK. I quickly responded yes and moved to the side.

Funny enough, this crash wasn't as bad as the first one. The first one HURT and this one scratched up my arm. Manny checked out my arm and my bike and his bike and then we got up and finished the loop. I was still nervous for the last mile and didn't even consider doing another lap. When we got back to our cars Manny lowered my handle bar(?). I quickly tried it out and I think it feels better. Hopefully that adjustment will make my ride more stable. We'll see tomorrow at my first team bike practice!

The Run:
The first run practice was tough on me. Knowing that I HATE running I knew I was going to tire out quickly and I did. Being the last one back to parking lot was a real eye opener for me. I need to work on that too but hopefully all of the other training will help with my endurance.

I'm enjoying my training and every day I ask myself, what the HECK did I sign up for? It's still a far-fetched, unfathomable goal for me but I will work diligently to eventually get there. I just wish it could be easy already....hahaha

Disaster....in the pool

All these weeks leading up to training, I've been worrying about the bike, the bike, the BIKE! Boy o boy, I should be worried about the swim. Everyone always asked me, aren't you worried about the swim? I always shrugged it off and said, I can swim, I just need to build my endurance.... Last night, I have doubts about my swimming abilities.

I started taking lessons last year to prepare for the swimming portion of training. I began to really enjoy swimming and got comfortable with it. Since the beginning of 2009, I slacked off in working out and haven't kept up with my swimming routine. It definitely hurt me during my first swim training for the season.

I get to the Glassell Park pool, in Eagle Rock. The pool facilities are nothing like the Rose Bowl Aquatics center so I'm glad I changed at work. Anyways, Coach Mike talks to us about what type of drills we're going to do. He shows examples with a mentor that's in the pool already.

Drill #1
Float on your back, arms to your side, and kick gently. "No problem, I can float"

Drill #2
Float on your back, arms to your side, and then turn your body completely to one side, come back up on your back and then turn again on the other side. All the while keeping your head looking straight up above the water. This is to simulate the motion you need to do while you are swimming. "OK, that looks kinda freaky, I think I need to start in the beginner lanes"

Drill #3
I forgot what this one was...you'll see why...

Drill #4
Being completely on your side, one arm stretched out head face the bottom of the pool, kicking. Come up for air when you need to. Repeat on other side when you return. "Seems OK, I think I can do it"

So coach separates us in Beginner, Intermediate and Advanced groups. According to the survey I filled out prior to practice, I should be in intermediate. I decide to go in the beginner group because I'm super nervous. This is probably the best thing I could've decided.

I get in and they do a warm up which is 2 laps of free style. Jumping in the pool late, I rush to the one end and am completely tired. Then back, EXHAUSTED! I wait there to catch my breath and then the Assist. Coach looks at me and asks, "did you do 2 laps?" I said "no". Then she motions for me to go again. Exhausted and not ready, I go anyways. Big mistake. Now I feel how I did when I first started to learn. I don't know what the heck I'm doing. So I come back already feeling defeated. So we begin the first drill. The "easy one". Just lie on your back and kick, easy enough, I've done it many times. WRONG. For some reason I couldn't keep my head afloat. My head kept sinking, I was struggling to breath, swallowed lots of water both up my nose and through my mouth. I some how made it across the pool, last of course. Do it again back the other way, same thing, same struggles. Again go back one more time, THIS time, I somehow didn't go in a straight line went completely horizontal, that was embarrassing to find myself on the opposite side of the pool. At that point, I knew I needed to relax and just work on this before I could move on. Everyone else continued with the other drills and I still stayed working on the first one. One of the Captains was staying with me helping me try to figure out how to do the float. Finally I got it. So then I tried to do Drill #2. I kinda was getting it but every now and then my head was falling underwater. After one only lap of that, it was time for us to get out of the pool. We aren't allowed to stay longer because the pool stays open for us and we have to get out at 8pm.

So I don't remember what Drill #3 is because I never got to do it. At the end, I saw that there was another guy who was having problems with the floating part too. I will be practicing the drills because I have no idea why I couldn't do them. Maybe I was over thinking, or was I nervous, or I was over confident with the swim. I don't know. All I do know, is that I need a lot of work.

Saturday is our first run practice. That's a joke too since I hate running. Maybe I can have a disaster title for each leg......hahahaha

I'm not beat up over this, I knew going into this training that I would need help from the get go, so I'm taking it all in and am determined to be a rockstar come September =)

Eastside Tri

My New Team...

Justine update

I hung out with Justine for a couple of hours last night. She looks great! She's not on any inter venous meds or anything at the moment. They are hoping she'll be able to go home for a few days soon. They did another bone marrow biopsy on Friday and there were ZERO leukemia cells in her bone marrow....YEAH! The doctors say she's a great patient because all of the treatment seems to be working well. Thankfully they caught it early on so that's the reason for the successful treatments.

Once she gets to go home, she wants to have a sleep over with her friends. She really misses them. We sat a talked about cute boys and she told me her #2 wish on her list for the Make a Wish Foundation is to have dinner with Hugh Jackman at Ruth Chris'. I tried to convince her that she should take me with her but she said I would have to settle spying on her from across the room.... hahaha

I really hope she does get to go home today. Before I left I told her that if she's still in the hospital on Tuesday, that I will be back to see her. But she should hope she doesn't get to see me because that would have meant she went home.....

All geared up......sorta

Well I did it! I bought the bike! THE bike. Thursday after work, Manny Lou, Alice and Louis all met me at Pasadena Cyclery to check out the used bike I've been eyeing for a week. The same bike that I test road and freaked out on. I actually went there thinking I was going to get the new version of the bike just because it was prettier and "new". But once Manny looked at the used bike, he thought the used one was a good buy. It looked brand new and he said it was worth the savings since they were essentially the the same bike with a $250 difference. So I bought it. It was totally cool having my support group there with me because I had no clue what i was doing and what I needed to get. I felt like a kid that all the adults were so proud of getting her new bike..... hahaha

Now the actual work begins, I have to learn how to ride it. I'm going to make my way to target today to get some cheap elbow pads because I know there are accidents just waiting to happen!

On a great note, my sister, Jackie and her husband, Mike, are joining the SGV Marathon Team. They will be training for their first Half Marathon and I will be helping them fundraise. So keep your calendars open for July 25th! It will be in the evening probably around 9pm.

DISASTER!

Please excuse my OVER exaggeration in what I'm about to talk about but I know this is how I truly felt.

Yesterday, Saturday, I can honestly say I haven't felt that nervous, scared and slightly embarrassed in years! It was day one of my bike shopping and I confirmed that I really can't ride a bike. Either that or getting on a road bike first in 25 years was a big mistake. Uncontrollable sweating, laughter and blabbering about my nerves were my reactions.

Raul and Audrey Chen were kind enough to join me on my first bike window shopping expedition. As Raul and I were on our way to pick up Audrey, I was telling Raul, "I don't know if I REALLY know how to ride a bike, but how hard can it be?" I would realize how wrong I was later in the day.

So after picking up Audrey, our first stop was Pasadena Cycle. A small shop and not too intimidating. We check out the bikes and decide I need a female road bike. Audrey begins to explain to me the differences and the main thing we need to find is a bike short enough for me. Being 4'10", the height of 14 year old, its quite difficult to find an adult bike that fits me. We find ONE on the floor and its on sale. It's a used bike but looks pretty good. We pull it out of the rack and I straddle it. It BARELY fits. Audrey said there should be about an inch or two between you and the bar and the bar was "right there" no space in between! I was able to have both feet flat on the ground but had I been barefoot I probably would've needed to tip toe a little. We flag down a sales man and we ask him if there's a bike shorter than that one on the floor. He said that that is as short as they come, a 42, and that anything else would have to be custom made. DAMN! So he offers for me to try it out to see if fits right because that's mainly important. I explain to him that I haven't been on a bike since I was 7 and that I don't know if I can really ride it. The salesman is calm and very helpful while we walk out and is not bothered at all by my lack of confidence.

All four of us walk outside to the parking lot and I'm already laughing and expressing how nervous I am. Luckily Raul and Audrey aren't easily annoyed, at least not showing it, because I couldn't stop blabbering. The Salesman picks up on my nervous and baby's me through the process and says we should go on the sidewalk. WHAT! The sidewalk is NARROW! Sweat drops in the helmet....

The salesman holds the bike and says, okay, get on. Palms sweating, uncontrollable laughter, legs shaking and I put my foot on the pedal. Push OFF. I immediately lose my footing and don't move an inch. More uncontrollable laughter and sweating. Now the salesman gets an idea of how I really don't know how to ride a bike. He himself puts the pedals in the correct starting position for me and kindly says "you already have the marks of a true rider". They were grease marks on my calves from the chains. So with the pedals in the correct position for me to really push off, attempt #2. I push off, sit down, balance is WAY OFF. Swaying side to side I jump off and the bike veers to the grass and I try so hard to not fall. It's not my bike and I really really don't want to break it or crash it! All three of them, all being very patient and very encouraging with me were great but I felt utterly embarrassed. How can I be 32 years old and not know how to ride a bike! The salesman, now acting as a dad to me, said, "okay, jump on and I'll help you get started". So just as any KID would learn, the parent holds on a few steps as I ride down the sidewalk. He helps me get my balance and says I'm letting go now, and of course I see a white picket fence coming up soon. I say okay and determined to get this on my own, he lets go and I am pedaling, focusing, over thinking. I pedal a few feet trying to maintain my balance and come up against the fence and freak out. I'm afraid I'll bump into the fence and scratch the bike, or crash and cut myself on this unnecessary enclosure of a yard in Pasadena. I squeezed the brakes and catch myself before I could go any further. I believe had I gone past the fence, I might have been okay. I began to lose confidence and decided to stop. More uncontrollable laughter. I tell them that that's enough. I am far too embarrassed to go any further. This is the exact reason I rather walk alone during my marathons. No one is watching me, no one is paying attention to me, I can do my own thing, no embarrassment. I'm obviously not a competitive person.

The salesman, acting dad, offered to put together a mountain bike for me to practice on. He said, I can take it around the neighborhood to get my balance back and comfortable on a bike again. What a nice guy. I made sure that there was no obligation for me to purchase anything and agreed to it. I figure I can go on my lunch breaks and ride for 20 minutes a day and hopefully find my groove.

We hit 3 other stores, mostly intimidating for an amateur and nothing close to a 42. Our last stop was performance cycle. We go in and are approached by a salesman. He's very friendly and suggests that I look into kids road bikes. Being surprised that they actually have road bikes for children, we find out the functionality of the bikes are the same. The kids bikes are slightly more sturdy, the wheels are a little thicker and just a tad heavier by a couple of lbs. They do have the gear shifters in a different position as well as the breaks but as if I knew were they were supposed to be in the first place. He brings over the catalog and shows me the bike. I would have to order the bike before they can get it in. He said that if I didn't like the bike I could return it but I wished I didn't have to buy it first. The major push was that the kids bike is significantly cheaper. The bike he showed me was under $400. Most bikes we saw were at least $800 with the exception of the used one at Pasadena Cycle being $500. We called it quits for the day so I can go home and collect my thoughts.

After a yummy lunch at Whole Foods, Raul and I went to the TNT encouraged store in Burbank, Bicycle Johns. Its a small store, intimidating like the others. As we were about to leave a salesman approaches us. I explain to him that I'm joining the next tri season and tell him my problems earlier in not finding a bike short enough for me. His suggestion was to put smaller wheels on. 650s? Something like that. I don't have all the correct cycle lingo down yet. He shows me a Cannondale catalog and which one I could get. Again, it would have to be ordered and the thing I didn't like was there's really no returning it. I don't think an all or nothing option is ideal for a first time rider let alone asking me to shell out $800 for it. I take the catalog home, with the used bike and kids bike as my primary options at this point.

I know I need to go to more stores. I still have to check out Helen's and REI. I think as soon as I can get those practices on the road bike in, I can hopefully go and try to ride some road bikes. It was a highly stressful afternoon but I as much as I was embarrassed I was very thankful I didn't have to do it alone. Thanks Raul and Audrey!

to be continued.... hopefully it won't be titled DISASTER again *wink*

Fundraising update WHO HOO!

Thanks to Tita Day and Mamma Ti, I have received donations from their co-workers today. The total they recruited was a WHOPPING $863! and still counting! Thank you Mamma Ti and Tita Day!

My total as of today is $2483!!

It takes some time to reflect the total on my website because the donations were collected in cash and checks and will take some time to process. I am only $717 short of my minimum and haven't even sent out my letters yet and am still a month away from the start of the season!

All of the Carantos, especially Rainel, Mamma Ti, and Tita Day have really been a HUGE part of my fundraising success and I am very thankful for that!

I'm working on getting Jackie to join the team and train for the Long Beach Marathon. I told her I would fundraise for her if she signed up. I have already been planning a huge fundraiser and I doubt I will need that for myself so I told her that I would throw a fundraiser for her to train. She's still entertaining the thought and it's looking good! In the meantime, pencil in July 11th for my fundraiser at Hollywood Billiards, the place I had my last big fundraiser!

Visiting Justine 4.21.09

I try to see Justine every week. Usually on Tuesday nights when my sister Josie is there. I couldn't go last week because I had show tickets so it had been two weeks since I've seen Justine. Since then, she's cut her hair, just like her "cool aunt".....but I have to admit her's looks cuter than mine....haha She is also done with her first round of Chemo. The lump in her jaw that was an infection is now gone. Last time I saw her (two weeks ago) she had a nose bleed which was pretty harsh. They gave her platelets to help the bleeding stop. Since then she had another nose bleed that lasted almost 24 hours. She was not given any platelets because there were no platelets to be given. An email was sent out the following day to encourage platelet donations from family and friends. The response has been fantastic and many people are eager to help out. The amazing support from my TNT people, even though they don't know her and even some Alumni that don't know me, just reaffirms the fantastic people that are involved in TNT. I thank you and all of my family and friends for the willingness to help. I hope most of the people that qualify know that it's not a one time donation that is needed. I hope they return to donate platelets and understand that Justine will continue to need them as long as she is receiving treatments. The platelets expire in a week. I will be donating every 2 weeks, usually on Friday mornings which are my days off.

Currently Justine is not receiving any Chemo. Her first round is done and is now just waiting for her immune system to build up so she can go home for a week. After being home for a week she will once again return for another round of the 10 day Chemo treatment and the cycle repeats.

During my visit last night, she was happy to see me because I came baring her dinner, double orange chicken and fried rice from Panda Express. We exchanged our sarcastic banter and I knew that she was in a good mood that night. My sister Josie left for about 10 minutes to grab some sundaes from McDonalds and Justine and I sat talking about boys. It felt nice that she's comfortable talking about such personal issues with me and that she actually wanted my advice even though she's never seen me with a guy....hahah She thinks I'm "livin' the life" when I'm actually just searching for what my life is really all about....don't tell her that though *wink* Anyways, Josie came back and we stopped our conversation. Josie helped Justine do a few exercise since Josie is a PTA, she the perfect person to help her with that. Justine definitely wants to exercise because she was so active before getting diagnosed that she feels like her muscles are all fading away. She's a great soccer player and her team even went to the Championships this year! She did very well with a good amount of different muscle strengthening moves. She did tire out a little but I really think it was because of the all the laughing she was doing while exercising.

When I left she was good. I will be taking the Saturday morning shift to watch her until her grandmother shows up around noon. We will have jamba juices and finish our chat about boys...maybe she'll teach me something =p

We took the picture above before I left for my fundraising website. There were a whole series of these pictures. The one I really like she is totally cracking up but she doesn't want me to post it so this is what you get. I desperately needed some lipstick but Justine stole the show with her cute smile anyways...

butterflies = nerves or fear? or both?

Ever since I signed the paperwork for TNT, I've been debating about the Olympic Distance or the Classic Distance for the Malibu Triathlon. It's like deciding to do the full or half marathon. You want to do the full because everyone is training for it and it's a bigger challenge. But the thing about the Classic distance for this particular Triathlon is that it's the "fun" one of the two. The Olympic is on Saturday and is for the more hardcore tri-athlets and the only thing going on for spectators is the sandcastle contest. But Classic is the one that they are known for and is publicized. It's the one with the celebrities and a bunch of activities for kids. It's basically the MAIN event. So I'm kinda leaning towards the Classic. I think it will have a different energy vibe and it will help my spectating friends have more fun while they wait for me....haha The Classic is longer than a Sprint so it's not the shortest distance triathlon =p

BUTTERFLIES: I checked out the Tri team's website and started to get really nervous. Just seeing photos of them biking and swimming, makes me wonder, "what the heck did I sign up to do? Am I really doing this?" Talking to Audrey today made me question if I really do know how to ride a bike. I have memories of trying to ride a bike but don't ever remember riding it around anywhere. So I'm leaning towards the fact that I don't know how to ride one. But I keep telling myself, how hard can it really be? Just some practice right? If I can learn how to swim, I can learn how to ride right? *butterflies*

Fundraising update

As of today at 4:30pm, I have $1320 in my account!!! This is amazing especially since the start of the season is still a month away and so far I'm the only person signed up for the Eastside Triathlon team! The support from all of the Caranto Friends have been amazing and I hope you all know the Carantos, the Mezas and Justine truly appreciate the love.

I'm beginning to turn the fundraising wheels and will soon start planning my event. I hope to have amazing Silent Auction items and host an event that many of you will attend, enjoy and bring your own friends to too! I will begin scoping out locations and have found a small venue that looks interesting. If you or your company are interested in donating any Silent Auction items, please contact me and I will gladly accept them =)

swimming......

I went swimming this morning. I'm definitely out of shape. I weighed myself in the morning and OMG, I'm gaining weight! That was the real wake up call for me to start getting back into the workout routine! I've been lazy about it but then I realized that working out actually gives you more energy! So even though you think you're lazy, you are actually feeling lazier by NOT working out. It's really great when you can feel energized from a workout. That's why I enjoy swimming, there's no sweat but all of the huffing and puffing from a great workout! I'm out of shape but I know that it just takes some time for me to get back into my routine. I need to do a couple of laps without stopping before I start my triathlon training (end of May). At the moment, I'm still stopping at 25m. *sigh*

Donating blood and platelets

Friday, April 10th, was my day off and I had plans all day. First I was going to go to Children's Hospital to donate platelets for Justine, then visit Justine, then get my nails done, then clean up the apartment, then go out with the girls and then come home and hang out with my sister and the kids. Well, that did not pan out the way I had expected it to.

Donating the platelets: They tell us to drink a lot of water and have a good meal before coming in. So the night before I drank a bottle and had some soup for dinner. The next morning I drink another bottle of water and some oatmeal hoping that was enough.....so we shall see.....

Jackie and I get to the donor center and sign in. I asked if I could donate both blood and platelets today, thinking the receptionist is going to say "no" but he said "yes". So thinking I could be efficient, I said, sure, take both from me today! So they call us in within 5 minutes and we find out we first have to have our blood tested to see if we CAN donate platelets. The tech checks my veins, I know that I have one good arm and one bad arm. After getting a second opinion, my good arm was approved and now all they had to do is draw a sample from the bad arm to test the blood. They couldn't use the good arm to test because that needed to be saved for the actual platelet and blood draw. So the first tech tries to find the vein, punctures the skin and then is in and moving it around trying to poke something that will give him a steady stream of blood. I'm looking the other way because I can tell he's up in there with the needle and no luck. You would think these people would be highly trained and used to finding the veins if they work in that department! So a second nurse tries and the same thing! She's up in my arm searching for the vein and then finally gets it! Whew! I really didn't want to have to go through that for nothing! I now have the healing bruises to show for it! This photo was taken 3 days later.....imagine what it looked like before!



So after that test, they sent us back out while we're waiting for the results. As we're sitting there, I start to freak out that I didn't eat enough. So I asked if I can grab something to eat because by this time, it's almost lunchtime and since I'm on a regular eating routine my stomach starts to growl. I grab a quick fish fillet at the McDonalds in the Hospital and hurry back. A couple of minutes later I'm called in, blood pressure is checked, quick run to the restroom (the 5th time that morning) and then they set me up on a bed. I look through a list of movies I get to watch while they are drawing the platelets and I choose the Devil Wears Prada. I've never seen it and everyone says it's good but at the same time I realize I'm going to be here for a while since they set up movies for everyone donating. I already knew that going in but it was still a little shocking. Anyways, so the new nurse goes into my good arm and finds the vein with no problems. I'm hooked up to the machine and the tube of blood that is coming from my arm is pretty thick. I checkout the machine and you can see the blood being filtered, kinda, pretty weird. Anyways, the nurse explains the procedure:

You are probably going to get cold since we are drawing blood from you so you can ask for as many blankets as you need. There will be a heating pad that will lay over your arm since that is the location where the blood is being drawn. You may feel a slight tingle in your lips, (something to do with calcium, too little I guess). They said if you feel the tingling to let them know and they will give you some tums to chew on and if that doesn't help then they can make adjustments to the machine. And lastly, don't bend my arm.

So I'm sitting there watching a movie and just relaxing as the machine sucks the blood out, separates it and then returns it to my body. The machine starts beeping, the tech comes over looks at it and pushes a few buttons and walks away. No big deal, but then this starts to happen every 15 minutes or so, I'm thinking, what's wrong? So then after the 6th-7th time, she comes over and says I'm going to tighten the turnaket a little and tells me to squeeze the foam toy in my hand ever so often. So I do so. That works and the machine stops beeping. I begin feel a little something in my teeth. I don't know if I should say something? How intense is the tingling supposed to be? I just let it pass. Finally, I start to feel it move up a little to my lips and decide to ask for some tums. So the tech gives me a cup with 5 tums and says if that doesn't help, to tell him and he will adjust the machine. So I take a tums and it seems to lessen the tingling. I do take one right after the other because as soon I as I finish one, the tingling returns. When I'm done with the cup, I just say, oh well, suck it up Jane! I asked the tech how much longer I have because I noticed that the woman sitting next to me is done and she started after I did. It must be because I'm donating both blood and platelets I thought. Well the tech told me I had less than 10 minutes so I was glad I was almost done. The movie was now over and I just stared off into nowhere.

But here's where everything took a wrong turn for the worse. I laid there, deep in thought and I noticed that the tech was staring at me, I didn't think anything of it. A few minutes later, my stomach begins to feel weird. The tingling begins to creep up my face and is up around my nose. I ask for water and the tech says sure and asks me, "are you ok?" I replied, "I'm feeling kinda nauseous." He then calls a nurse and says "we're having a reaction." I being to panic a little but I was already nauseous so it was all mental. The nurse comes over and says, "she only has a few more minutes left", then she asks me if I can keep going because they need a minimum of 256cc for the blood donation to make it count and I was at 236cc. I told them I was feeling really sick and they cut the cord. They immediately tilt the bed so my head is down and my feet are raised, put a cold towel over my head and neck, and take my blood pressure. The tech told me, "I noticed you looking sick but you didn't say anything, and then when I asked you if you were alright, you immediately turn pale!" So I sat there, sipping water, having my blood pressure taken every 5 minutes and then was finally told that my color is back and to slowly rise. I left a little weak and completely exhausted. Luckily we had planned to visit Justine afterwards so I was able to sit and relax for a while.

We visited Justine and she wasn't feeling too well. She was nauseous, hadn't really eaten because she can't open her mouth too wide. She has an infection in her jaw from the chemo and they are giving her antibiotics to help. The good thing was we were able to talk to her and she still has her sense of humor and was laughing at our stupid jokes. Jackie brought her a cute Easter box filled with candy and some hair supplies I told her to get. I got her a bag of flaming hot cheetos and a pair of chopsticks to eat them with. I also made a CD with some songs I thought she would like. She's really into music so I downloaded the new BEP and Justin/Ciara songs for her. I didn't have time to go through all of my songs so I ended up just giving her what I've recently downloaded, which were mostly the AI songs which I'm not sure she's going to like....haha We had to leave early because our mom called saying she was sick so we had to go and check on her. After leaving and helping out my mom, I was completely wiped out. I canceled plans with the girls and needed to rest up for the weekend with the kids.

In the end, it was worth it. It turned out that they were able to use the bag of blood I donated because it was "close enough"! If Justine is still in the hospital next week, I plan on coming back and donating again, this time, only platelets.....the combination of the two is what got me in trouble. Plus, I'm A+ and Justine is O+. I was there last Wednesday and witnessed why she needs the platelets so the little tingling and exhaustion I got was nothing compared to that. It's my fault anyways, I just needed to drink MORE water, so the tech says.....

stroke, stroke, stroke.......BREATHE!

A blog has been set up for Justine....check it out: http://justinekickscancer.org/

A new method I'm trying out is to comfortably breathe on both sides while swimming. I comfortably breathe on my right side after two strokes. It's not easy gasping for air when you have to concentrate on which side's turn you're supposed to breathe. So I started out with the drills I learned in my intermediate swim class at the RBAC. Hold the paddle board upright pushing against the water and practice breathing and kicking. So I first practiced breathing entirely on my left side. Kicking, head down: exhale, exhale, head up, BREATHE....repeat. The BREATHE is not an exaggeration. It is exactly how I talk to myself in my head......BREATHE NOW *GASP*! When you're learning to swim, you're thinking of so many things "okay turn your body, stretch out, don't splash the water when going into a new stroke, turn your head, kick from the hips"......the list goes on and on. Breathing is the toughest part. You take in water, you pull your head out too much, you lift your head instead of turning it to lay on your extended arm. It's a lot of nervous concentration going on there!

After a few laps with the paddle board, we parted ways and I went out on my own. I successfully was able to take a few breathers from my left and right side but about half way through the lane, I needed to stick to my right side. This happened on a few laps and then I finally said "enough for today" and just swam breathing only on my right side.

I think it's my endurance that's holding me back. To breathe on both sides you have to stroke, stroke, STROKE, BREATHE. When you breathe on one side, you don't have to hold your breath as long and only have to stroke, stroke, breathe. I've been very comfortable with the one sided breathing that holding out for that extra stroke, is throwing me off. I guess with more practice and getting myself back into shape, I can eventually get there. For the first time in a long time I actually got water up my nose.....not so fun! I really need to get that waterproofed ipod I've been eyeing for months. I think it will help me stay in the pool longer and concentrate less on me swalling clorine water.....yuck!

Malibu Tri

When I received my paperwork from Team in Training, I realized they are now offering both the Olympic and Classic Distances for fundraising. Even though I was sooooo against the Olympic Distance as my first Triathlon, with things now coming into perspective, I'm "open" to the Olympic Distance. My approach will be training for the Olympic but if things don't work out then I will not be disappointed with doing the Classic either. This season is really about raising the money more than the event and training. I will be working super hard to get those funds and I hope you will support me! BTW, I also just noticed that the Malibu Triathlon raises money for the Children's Hospital in LA, which is where Justine is getting her treatment. Yeah!

http://www.nauticamalibutri.com

Olympic Distance = 1.5K swim, 40K bike, 10K run
Classic Distance = 1/2 mile swim, 18 mile Bike, 4 mile run
strange how one is in Kilometers and the other in Miles.....haha

Fundraising

My fundraising page is up. It's still a rough draft but that's how they all start out right? I don't really like the new format of the page, but I guess I'm just old school....haha

This weekend's mission is to try breathing on the left side when I swim. I can only do the right side and I hear that you need to learn how to breath on both sides when swimming in the ocean .... ugh....stomach churns when I think about swimming in the ocean! Also, I will start hitting up businesses for donations for my fundraiser in the summer!

I will start looking into bikes soon also so any recommendations would be appreciated. I would like to start out with a decent bike, I don't need a fancy one yet, I have to figure out if this Triathlon madness is a phase or a long term thing. So I want to spend around $500 just on the bike but hopefully less.

Please make donations here :
http://pages.teamintraining.org/los/malibutr09/jalba

I know times are tough but any and all donations will make a difference!

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can still do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something I can do.
~Edward Everett Hale

It starts.....

I've been involved with Team in Training since 2005. I completed the Mardi Gras half marathon in New Orleans my first season . I then returned in 2007 to train for my first full marathon. I completed the Long Beach Marathon that October. Since then, I've never left the team. 8 seasons, 1 marathon, 10 half marathons, and over $10K raised for LLS later..... here I am returning for more. I challenged myself to complete the Malibu Triathlon in September 2009. I can barely swim, I haven't been on a bike since I was 7 and I do NOT run (I walk). So completing this Tri will be the biggest challenge for me yet.

I've been planning to fundraise and train for this triathlon for over a year now. I've been preparing by taking swim lessons and boasting to all of my friends that I will be joining the tri team. I've made amazing friends by being part of Team in Training and I am excited for what lies ahead for me and for the amazing opportunities and developments LLS will break through with. I pray and will have a new found inspiration for continuing to fight against blood cancers ......

PS: My fundraising site will be posted as soon as I am officially a registered participant, trust me, you'll get the link *wink*